April 30, 2009

my prayer's fate

Where does the prayer that i send go?
to the air so thin
or the lord i can’t see

is it heard or dismissed as unworthy?
or is my prayer scared to speak its purpose?
the eyes look out for a company
to find if there is a purpose for it to blink
my sanity rethinks its futility
my insanity relishes its penance with gaiety

my prayer flies with wings of hope
the beam of the envious sun cuts them
to see the prayer fall on earth
that already has many a dead
the rain knows that pain
for the sun celebrates its defeat too
with the rainbow
the rain knows that pain
it sheds tears on the dead prayer
performs its last rites

April 04, 2009

light and broken

I am light, I am broken
I am happy, but I am breaking
Corroding easily
I am numb, comfortably
I am dragging myself to a nowhere
I can’t see that there is life everywhere
It fails to show up in front of me
I am in ease
Because the pain in me
Vents by oozing blood when it dissects me
Bit by bit
It’s given me anesthesia
Before it ate my heart away
And I am numb,
I don’t even realize
I am hallucinated
Hallucination of hope
That will betray me
My heart is raped
But it’s light
Still beating, bleeding
For some reason unknown


I sleep to forget my fears
My fears that keep me awake for nights
I lie to find myself among the dead
I close my eyes to go blind
But then my eyes see the hell unleash itself
I grip my hands to pray
But the prayer corrodes in this air of uncertainty
There is a word stuck in my throat
That fears to come out
What if it came out only to be swallowed?
What if it came out only to find itself alone in the darkness?
The word is ‘help’
That is so helpless
I lie prostrate to dig someone who can give company
I am scared to look at either side
I wrap myself in a blanket
Like a shroud
Yet I am barely protected
I burry myself inside it
Yet I feel so naked
I shut my eyes to go bind
But I can see the grim reaper approaching
I breathe in
But I am scared to breathe out
What if my assassin finds me?
The next day I learnt
I am my own vicarious assassin