October 11, 2008

immortal words

the words that go unspoken
are the one that actually speak
the one that u really meant louder
could be obscure
could be bandy
they come direct from the core , raw
and crave to be heard
but gets buried deep in a grave
but still haunting your mind
some hide it to be seen
some not to hurt others
some just don’t get the right word to bang the feel out
the feeling is like a blob of emotions
soon may become a blot
but it may just keep u in the dumps
so wake up
do count on them
but don’t kill them
cuz they are meant to be herd
being blunt is no sin
at least its not that sharp
i know i shouldn’t be saying them
cuz me is the 1st one to do it
but a wise advise
don’t be me
cuz i know how good it is not to be me
just blurt out what u don’t want to
cuz these are soon forgotten, forgiven
and in the end leaves u in ease
may be not that easy
do make an effort
make sure u r not blacking out someone else’s emotions
be wise with your words
even a dumb has his own language
so why let yourself in blues
or show invisible with blues
so don’t be dumb
cuz dumb words immortal

to lose

to lose is like dying d worst death when u r alive
we all die a hell lot of times in our single living
so many tears
so many fears
but its too hard to forgive
or to forget
some just don’t face it
cuz they are meek
a little too weak to taste it
but sure enough
failure is also a taste
learn to savor it
may be that’s all life has to offer u
as tuff as it doesn’t sound
but yes
every1 doesn’t look it alike
some lament
some curse
some give one the creeps
some just hunt for one more of its kind
some cry out
some bottle it
all different ways to pretend
to protect ones inner
for all its the same
evry1 sweats n fears for the coming steps
then why take another stand
why pretend
why keep the other in dark
is that cuz u r scared
or the fear of being laughed at
but we all are humans
the same creatures
who too cry when faced with losses
so don’t u cry shyly
just cry out
clear your brains
u'll see clarity
a clearer air
don’t u dare fool yourself
and keep yourself in a shell
embrace every failure
as its the one which would blossom to a destined victory

rain in me

it’s expected to be colorful
but i want it to be black n white
or any monocolored theme
d sky is black n heavy with rain
that would shed like flowers on an angelic me
it’s my quench
which will never go fulfilled
the droplet touches me
a caress moment to me
it sinks deep into my soul
n spreads like on a cracked road
it brings me to life
a new n a dew(due) one
the one i've always wanted to relish
it as relieving
as tears to a looser
the only difference
tears are salty
my rain is pleasantly saccharine
it is a blessed one
n comes down to bless me
with a thousand of its kind
each like a drop of water to the parched
it lends me wings
but not perpetual
thunder like a pleasant piano
lightening to me is an eye feast
it takes me to a different world
with unimaginable picturesque
the chilling breeze lingering on me
it kindles me with bliss
it is parky
but still i can’t help myself from melting
in myself
and i am the only living being
but the chirpy birds spotting the space
a warm music filling my ears
n i have my desire
my fetish
the chocolate ice cream
my arms stretch wide wanting a hug
n so does a droplet help me
i feel elated
am in ease
but still wanting more of it
it rains
i rain
we rain n rain
until am washed away to reality

hell 2 my eyes

hell to my eyes cud be school when its the first period
or the woman's house next door
or my examination hall
cuz i have been through all these
d hell too has an entrance
where d Draculas red n devilish stand to welcome u in their own way
with a bouquet of cacti
when they smile you’ ll see
their sharky teeth
red with blood
but what may soothe the men would be d develies
who are clad in the shortest of clothes
but poor they
they have d worst figure n no appeal
when u enter in beware
don’t worry.. No dogs
bt no less in beasts n vamps (!!)
thorns all over to suck your blood
but as u enter you’ll find gardens with skeletons beautifying
a pleasant aura of a strong skunky perfume
take a stroll to know your hell better
when u look down u l find all earthling living fair
cuz u r no more there
in your way you’ll find passionate music troops
singing u a welcome song but guess what
they r d most hated singers
singing their best
d sing u hated the most
u ll find most of your known ones
cuz they too were kicked in here
there are vampires
the very bloody ones
i know it’s been too much for u
so u d better go to sleep cuz d devilees of d hells door would be waiting for u
to give u a bath in blood
the blood tub would be too big to look beyond
so , friends
this is what i think hell could be like
I’ve tried writing in the sweetest way possible
its true sweetness you’ll know only when u reach there
Bon voyage

sorry

m sorry
please forgive me
i beg u for mercy
i know i shouldn’t have done it
nor do i deserve our forgiveness
but i can’t help but plead
now, since i know what i put u through
please.. please.. please...
curse me..abuse me..
for i deserve all of it.

bt dont u shed a tear..please...
i can’t be d reason for your sorrow...
there s no bigger punishment u can give me
but now i am a hang dog
please don’t hate me
please don’t forgive me
please forget it for my sake
give me a thousand curses

i shall bear it..
but cant see u through 1...
would u speak 2 me...
will u always be the same
and not feign in front of me
would u pl hit me once....
so that i may get beatified
i can’t see you eye to eye...
for i am falling with shame...
i don’t know how low u are
cuz of me
m choking
please bury me...cuz i am dead...
will u??

a day at tihar

What a day.. d day i was anticipating..high expectations... n wow.. it was better than d minds picture... u know... couldn’t get better.. went early in the morning.. all clad in white... now when m writing.... o know.. d coincidence... m listening to 1 of the songs.. wow.. the vibe.. FA(fukin awesome.. by the way..).. ya.. all in white.. looking fantastic. their best,.. then d tricolor tied on the left wrist. . all exited. then got into the bus..listening 2 funny symptoms of jitters of Tanu.. n a gag here n there.. kept us going. n ya.. spoke a lot of music.. then.. got down.. oh ya.. i missed out something.. the bad singing by d dance troop. all bad songs..in bad voices.. euuu.. got down.. first sight.. a police man who probably belonged 2 d veerappan family...muchaman.. u know.. then there was the big gate. beyond which was a new world, an intriguing 1.. i thought it would be sombre...then came the checking.. oh.. the lady gaurd gave me tickles while checking.. n it took us half an hour to pass through d gate..n there we went.. stepped into d TIHAR JAIL....bt u won’t get even a hint if it.. while walking.. wall painting..greenery.. fresh air..no bit of darkness or negativity.. it rather felt like a walk in the lawn.. n then.. we saw some 300 + ppl clad in white...so disciplined...n then i knew wat i was suppose to go through.. 100% excitement n 200% nerves... to the left st d important criminals..The top level criminals.. terrorists n jihadis.. we were told.. we all went 2 d stage.. 1st came a kids performance.. prodigy man.. i swear.. adorable voice. it kinda quietened me..n we began..Aashayein.. i realy didnt know whether 2 make an eye contact with d audience r not.. well, i didnt.. we began. happy note.. oh. d god damn mike system..slurred it up..k.. not a problem.. went on.. then.. Winds of change,, sang it out.. then walked off d stage.. Tanu sang jhulelal.. set it on fire.. they luvvd it.. FA. thunderous applause. n over .. we sat next to d stage(right side though )..had chats..the stage was taken ovr by d other band.. oh.. lord.. they spent half an hour singing 'sound check'.. probably.. forgot d lyrics..wa ever.. n out of d blues.. there was an announcement.. a prisoner named john would like 2 sing.. i thought it wud be ne unknown boring hindi song.. bt this man took us by surprise.. came 2 d stage.. spoke perfect english..took a guitar n sang a self composition..went like."kuch na kaho. my only wish is 2 touch u".. encore.. i swear. it was deep, haunting, n flawless.. fab.. everything.. n claps n hoots.. thats all we cud do.. Kenny sir went n congratulated him.. then..went for refreshments . good 1s.. all mad inside by d prisoners..everything..it was really yum..it didnt feel like a jail .. at any point of time.. packed off. belly full satisfaction..greater fun while returning.. a lot of music this time.. relaxd jestures.. n in my mind was hysteria dancing. my last day.. with these people...apparently.. wont be coming 2 YMCA after this.. n there sir was talking about future gigs d band is supposed 2 have..come on. i won’t be a part of it..my mind d perfect wet blanket on my heart.. i l miss u guys.. i kept sayin.. inside myself.. i wish.. i wish.. damn.. involved in their talks n my head bullying me.. we decided we ll record d songs once at ymca.. since we dont have a video of the performance..will i be there?? .. got down.. bade gud bye(bad byee sad 1..) to sir.. meet u after 6 months.. helpless me ..My Immortal chords?? my big request..bye bye 2 others.. got on Tanu’s car.. n as decided.. had lassi .. rum balls out of stock. relished it..talkin about the experience then came my time 2 say goodbye. got down.. said bye 2 her so many tymes.. n she gave me a lill peck n my cheek..last kiss...walked on the deserted road..back home..dreams are not forever.. u got 2 step out of them sometime..WALKING DOWN THE STREETSDISTANT MEMORIES ARE BURRIED IN THE PAST FOREVER..........