CLOSING NOTE

read this when i am only a jar of ashes
i just wish i was there to see
how much you cried
when you saw that i was gone
but if i did
i wouldn't have been in bliss then
without answering your question
WHY?
i don’t have an answer
i don’t have answers
for all the questions life was asking me
i didn’t see life
i wanted to see it dead
i took the knife
but i put it down
it was yours
i can't even die
the thought was killing me
i took the gun
i can't even afford a bullet
'what a pity!' mocked my life
starvation was killing me
but it didn’t help me die
why?
Cry
i tied a rope around my neck
it was hurting
what if i was alive to see myself die?
so i took the poison
it refused to go down my throat
into my begging stomach
i dissolved it with the potion of your love and hate
it gulped my life with ease
do cry for me once, truly, please