July 02, 2009

inject my pain

shivering with fear
ignorant of my state
crumbling with shame that’s too great
those holes in my veins
show me the hollowness
that i have carved
for 3 months
i let the elixir feed on me
consume a part of me
it was ecstasy
now, it is but fantasy
i was locked behind the cell of delusion
now i know, it is not even as gracious as an illusion
i tried to forget myself
surrendering myself
to my almighty in the bottle
locking myself behind the dark steel bars
to serve a sentence of numbness
the needle of syringe
gave me new blood
that ruled my nerves
i was soaked in the blood
of this painless pain
mourning for the disgrace i have become
my stomach groped
can i get one more doze?

7 comments:

PULKIT said...

ur about me says that ur writings reflect u...if that applies for this post too then Pls tc of urself dear! and get over the pain!
regards always!
Pulkit

sindu said...

hey.. i knew there were good chances that ppl might think.. that its a personal experiece.. that i've shared... through this writing.. well. i kinda draw inspiration from the book 'shantaram'.. the guy in that book.. actually.. goes through this.. so.. well.. i kina put myself into his shoes n.. hence this writing.. took birth..

My Reverie said...

well, I first had a feeling that it was your personal experience that inspired you.. I mean, the 3 months you are talking bout.. anyways, now I get it..
seing your point of view, I’m able to understand it better.. reading myself, Shantaram, that’s why..
good write..

Prakhar said...

quite a heavy one.. to be honest it went off my head...scholars like Pulkit can only undestand this..

MAHI said...

where d hell did it come from?

DIABOLIC SERMON said...

It reminds me of sum special lines i wr0te b0ut pain l0ng back..d0nt remember dem ryt n0w..buh i gues i reck0n 0l diz as d extacy f facin pain wen uv had enuff 0f it 2 fal in luv wid it.....................

PULKIT said...

@ sindu - sorry for being stupid to draw conclusions and all way too early dear!
sorry for that!
have read shantaram and now I got the association of linbaba with it too along the verses, in between the lines :)
I Think that book is one of the finest I have ever read !!
Its very intellectual and very realistic!
If I ever go to mumbai for a day or two, I would like to meet gregory personally too!
I have heard he meets many readers on sundays in the cafetaria that he made immortal in his book :)
and I dont know whther people like karla exist in this country but I am sure I would love to meet one such girl ever if I get a chance

keep writing sindu!
tc god bless!
loved the work