m drowning in your sea of lies
that u said was a lake of love
u fed me with the potion of your bitter lies
n i grew listening to your lullaby of lies
that put me to deep sleep
wake i never could
from that sleep until
the lies crushed me
u saw yourself in the mirror - so full of lies
but when the mirror didn’t lie
u said it did
u spoke the lies so truthfully
i didn’t believe in the truth
i thought u were the truth
u coated those lies with syrup of deceptive sweetness
that made me comatose
m drowning i your sea of lies
that u said was the pond of trust
trust i did, but on you
the mirror cracked
ashamed to see you in it
but u said u broke it
for it lied to you
i built my mountain of trust on you
kept you at its tip
i didn’t understand the truth- the lies
couldn’t even ask ' why me??'
but hate myself for being the fooled
i kept you at the mountains tip
but u pushed me down to the sea
m drowning in your sea of lies
and drinking your spirited lies
it nourished my bond with you
but you let me drown in your sea of lies
that does not even have a drop of truth
February 18, 2009
drowning in your lies
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3 comments:
lies...lies
killin till d core
can't fathom 'em
yet can't deny
how they play
wen we r left clueless
unsure!!!
Thank you so much for the lovely comment. actually I have never experienced what I wrote in blue, so as esoteric and in need of empathy as it may seem, it is a figment of my imagination. frankly, i don't know whether its a good thing or a bad thing. but i am glad you enjoyed it. read on :)
You, on the other hand, have tremendous potential. you have tapped into yourself and described very abstract emotions with ease. If I may offer some constructive criticism : Use whole words and proper grammar. it helps in making your poetry look like a serious work. Also, especially with this poem, break it a little, especially when you are repeatedly emphasizing on the sea of lies. it breaks the poem into separate phases following from the same thought, and helps emphasize it. I am not speaking here as a poet but as a reader. I still do think you have tremendous potential as a poet. I may soon find myself outgunned :)
write somethin cheerful u r wrtin all stuff which sounds doomy n gloomy.
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