mystiquecastleowner
September 18, 2010
let it flow
I thank the rain god
How sublimely it says, sorrow never stays
Livid air
And a few drops
Whisper in my ears
I am there
Creating warmth
I hadn’t felt for long
Wrapping me in his assurance
Nothing lasts forever
Drains the pain in me
Those wounds wont bleed now
Now that horizon looks like
A sheath of protection
Closing up on me
Breathing
Now I can give out a sigh
Cry
The swaying air cradles my soul
Putting those fears to sleep
Once again
Will it rain?
Become my tears
July 12, 2010
square garden
June 16, 2010
its something i wrote on 28th nov.... after a lot of moving news about the Taj attach and its effects on 'innocent' people's lives
My mortality take me home
Away with my music my sagging spirit
My nations mourns for all the deaths
But it doesn’t move
Shake us all
So that we may live as brothers
Show us all how it feels when your son doesn’t return home
When you just know that he is not well
Don’t know if he is dead or hurt
We sympathize but never empathize
Curse but never redress
We don’t even see others’ ‘grief
What if we were a part of it?
Am I not now?
So numb, dormant and indifferent
Would this stone ever move?
Or will it when it sees everyone else down in blood
Your ignorance’s fruit
What are we here for?
Sit back and watch the sea of death and demise and condole
Wouldn’t you move my nation?
We are liberated, independent
But not yet alive
June 10, 2010
turning point
Where I have to turn, bend
They say that it is the way
For that is the way everyone takes
It is the road that has been beaten up by every foot
No stone left unturned
Yet no one dares to walk the other way
This is the turning point
Which would turn my life
From mine to theirs
Transfer its identity to match the mob
It is no more an entity
Lose its gravity to walk on the ground
The way everybody does
This is my turning point
Which will bend me until
I break
losers' paradise
Welcome to losers’ paradise
Where everybody is alike
Long faces, pumpkin expression
Anger frustration
Dejection and pity
Under confidence, no confidence
Tears, fears
Blue purple black
Blank shameful dark
No one thinking anything except
That moment of fiasco
The tape stuck on that scene
No one knows who is sitting next
The one who does sees the worst
One from nowhere stood up
‘what have we lost that we are in so much pain?’
(Unanimous unspoken voices- what not?)
Cuz no pain no gain
So welcome to losers’ paradise
Where losing is a game
We all are shameless winners
April 25, 2010
Lend me a drop of tear
I need to cry
Break this silence
It’s a pain
That only I can feel
Now I want to break down
It’s too heavy to keep within
I’ll give up my pride
I can’t stride
With blind thoughts
And blinding vision
It’s difficult to cry
What if I do?
Afraid to fall
For I’ll never get up
Too willing to implode and get buried
Under my debris of sorrow
Is there a drop of tear I can borrow?
Now they are drying
Spirit of meaning
Is there a drop of tear I can borrow?
To burry my sorrow
Let their ghost explain the pain
Or will the tears go in vain?
January 10, 2010
where do i begin?
Around me
The clock moves around
Sages preach the art of living
I sit and listen
Inspired
Afraid to perspire
But I am still tired
I read history of great men
Too impressed
Still feeling suppressed
Yes, too many here are depressed
It’s so futile
The roads so beaten up
Dreams so clichéd
Yours and mine
Differ yet meet
At the end of the road
Few reach
Others preach
Where do I begin?
How do I end?
It’s not out of your reach
it’s from where it all begins
The answer lies within
July 21, 2009
burried myself
where it’s only me
no one to even mourn
I mourn with remorse
am I so worthless?
Or am I denied of my worth?
Am I alive
or as good as dead?
Should I live
or hide in the coffin?
To hide myself
should I grieve or go numb?
Dig inside to find myself
or keep digging to find more dirt?
Light a candle and see light
or burn myself
till my ashes disappear?
I fell so worthless
my veins shrink with shame
I’ll never be the same
now it’s given me a new name
but as I sit here in the coffin
I realize, I’d better lie down there
so that no one can find me anywhere
pray, my love
Pray, please
somebody save my love
he is dying in my brutal love
I love you too much
You loved me a little less
I held your arms...
Didn’t know
they'd leave scars...
I kissed u...
not knowing they'll burn you
I clenched to you
when you'd begin to go
I tore my heart to show
my love inside
oh, I realize now, it was only mine
not ours
pray, please
my love is dying
stop! the gruesome me is unleashing
to tear his heart to see if there was ever any love
pray , my lord
my love, talk to me
I haven’t killed u yet
wont you?
Look at me
am I so unworthy?
Pray, my love, save me
I’ll save you
pray my love...
Love me
I still love you...
July 02, 2009
inject my pain
shivering with fear
ignorant of my state
crumbling with shame that’s too great
those holes in my veins
show me the hollowness
that i have carved
for 3 months
i let the elixir feed on me
consume a part of me
it was ecstasy
now, it is but fantasy
i was locked behind the cell of delusion
now i know, it is not even as gracious as an illusion
i tried to forget myself
surrendering myself
to my almighty in the bottle
locking myself behind the dark steel bars
to serve a sentence of numbness
the needle of syringe
gave me new blood
that ruled my nerves
i was soaked in the blood
of this painless pain
mourning for the disgrace i have become
my stomach groped
can i get one more doze?